Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Kindness

How come when I am awake at 2 am I can come up with all sorts of wonderful ideas, thoughts and feelings to write about? Then the kids get up, morning comes and my mind draws a blank!!! Maybe I should start blogging at 2 am.

We did have to sit the kids down last night at family home evening and talk about them being so mean to each other. Why do they feel the need to call each other stupid, retarded, idiot, baby, etc? These are your brothers and sister that you have for life, eternity and want to have as your friends for life. I know that siblings can bug one another and get on each others nerves. That comes from being together every day, sharing rooms and sharing parents. But if you alienate your brothers and sister, who do you have to back you up when the hard times come? No one. The noise level has also increased over here with all the bickering and picking on one another.

We pulled out our Family Mission Statement last night and reminded the kids what they had set up as guidelines for our family. Lo and behold, not calling each other names was on the list!! Imagine that. They all looked a little sheepish at first but then started making excuses for their behavior. I finally cut them off and told them this was not about placing blame, but deciding that for this week we will be kind to one another. I figured one week at a time might help us to get to that goal.

This is not to say my kids are horrible or mean. There are many positive attributes that I could go on and on about. We, as a family, just need to be aware that the little barbs we say to each other can have an affect on someone else (parents included in this!!) I know my children can be kind as their teachers say they are so kind at school. Of course, my jaw drops when I hear that as I can only think "this is not what happens at home!"

I suppose this is going to be a work in progress for the rest of our family life. Right now, I would just take one day of kindness and smile for joy when it happens:)

6 comments:

E-squared's Mom January 27, 2009 at 9:03 AM  

I wish I could give you some good advice here but I got nothing. I have the same problems here in our home. just with not as many kids. good luck and let me know how the week went.

mary January 27, 2009 at 12:59 PM  

Hang in there, buddy. That's all I have to say. No family is perfect. We are all rowing together in the same boat, trying to teach our children..... I am confident we are in the right place, having the gospel to help us along. We just have to keep plugging along, my friend. :)

mary January 27, 2009 at 1:00 PM  

Oh, and that is awesome that you pulled out your Family Mission Statement! :)

Mom of The Fields Five January 27, 2009 at 6:39 PM  

My witty thoughts are some where in the part of my brain that isn't working tonight. So, I will simply say that we all got our issues. It seems we all run in cycles. Sometimes we are doing great with this and other times it seems like we are stuck on the yucky side of life. But, the great thing is tomorrow is another day. We can try again. So, have the attitude of the Little Engine that could....I think we can, I think we can, I think we can.....do better! Lots of love coming at you!

Erin January 28, 2009 at 1:00 PM  

And one day, 20 years from now, you will be able to laugh about it! I know how you feel.

Tink January 28, 2009 at 1:07 PM  

I LOVE how you have a family mission statement! I'm totally impressed. We have the same problem and my kids are 8 years apart! Ewww. But I love how you are addressing it AND doing FHE! "There is beauty all around when there's love at home."