Friday, April 24, 2009

What I learned today

Just wanted to share what I learned in counseling today. I don't feel bad saying I am going to counseling as we all have issues but mine need to be addressed now! I am also thankful for LDS social services as I can go to a counselor and know that I have someone helping me thru this with the same core beliefs in a Heavenly Father who loves us and his Son who is also here to help us.

Anyway, today was the first day and he put up a diagram of how he intervenes to help his patients have healthy coping mechanisms ( dang, shopping did not count!!!). His diagram went like this......Event (any event, does not have to be big or tragic) causes our thought process to kick in and then we react. He said the thought process kicks into action in a matter of seconds and sometimes we do not even realize what we are thinking, thus the reaction. He gave an example of a kid in junior high school, getting a drink of water. While getting a drink of water, the kid gets bumped. His reaction could be to hit the offender, run and hide out of embarrassment or some other reaction. Now, what if the offended turned around and realized it was just a little kid who accidentally bumped into him because the halls were so crowded? Would our reaction be different? Mine would be, I would tell the kid it was ok and things were fine.

The other part (or ladder) of the thought process goes up. Dang it, I forgot the middle part but the top part is our core beliefs. I need to ask for the diagram so that I can fill in the middle as it is just as important as the top. Say you were abused as a child - your core belief is that you hit when any event happens. So what if it is just a little kid who bumps you, you still hit. Your thought process is that any time you are hit, you hit back. So the idea behind this counseling is getting into the thought process and how to stop certain behaviors (reactions) when any event occurs ( and I am not saying that I am hitting;)). I absolutely love the idea of being able to stop and think and rationalize why I am doing certain behaviours instead of cycling thru event=bad reaction. It was a light bulb moment!!!

I am sharing this as I hope it might help someone else who might need it. Counseling can be good and not scary:)


Erin April 24, 2009 at 4:14 PM  

I have been through therapy twice, and my husband is a psychologist. I firmly believe in going to counseling to help ourselves! Good for you!

LisaLou April 24, 2009 at 7:34 PM  

First off let me say that what your doing is awesome! Therapy is never a bad thing and you shouldn't feel bad about going.

Second, you are so my third person for the pay it forward! So now you just do the post on your blog my dear!

Mary April 24, 2009 at 8:28 PM  

Glad you are getting good things out of going to counseling! Some people just don't give it a chance..... you are awesome. Hang in there, friend.